Forgiving an ungracious friend!

“Always forgive those who harmed you. Nothing annoys them so much.”- Oscar Wilde

But how can a friend be bad? You must be thinking as you read the title. The answer is that sometimes they do qualify to jump into that category. Because sometimes, people don’t really live up to the expectations we have settled them for. And it isn’t wrong in any way. After all, it’s your problem if you keep your hopes too high from some people. But when they stoop so low that even the degree of lowness is put to shame, then you must know that their time in your life is almost over! I am sure that we all have met and dealt with at least one of these double-dealers who made our eyes pop out more clearly to the outside world than we could have ever done presumably.

Love hurts! Sure. But you know what hurts more or perhaps the most? The friendship that turns ugly. The friend who turns his back on you. And as you grow up, chances are that you may experience this excruciating pain more than often, where you’ll realise how people find amusing ways to hurt you, where they’d no longer fit into your zone of happiness. It took me a longer time than usual to come to terms with the reality that not every single person goes on turning into a beautiful story or an everlasting one for that matter. Not everyone seeks a home within us. That’s not how the circle of life works. It’s a myth that friendships should last a lifetime. It may not be the case always! Because the truth is that some friendships are bound to go bad, as some romantic relationships do when one of the people gradually/suddenly find reasons to no longer like the person he previously did. And when this happens, you find it really hard to let go of that person.

You hate them, you’re disappointed but you still cling on, carrying their scintillating memories inside your heart. You hold on to their betrayal harder than ever. Tell me if I am wrong but how many of us have actually forgiven those who despite sharing an important piece of our hearts, went on to dash our expectations in like nanoseconds? I doubt we ever forgive them. At least I hadn’t. And I always thought forgiveness is so hard! But it was only after I let go of that grief, did I understand how liberating this whole process is. Let me first clarify that forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you.

So no, I haven’t spoken back to this person who once held a big space in my small heart because I still couldn’t come to terms with her disloyalty in our friendship but I have forgiven her from all the bubble that caused me discomfort and uneasiness. Because it was important. For me! And I now understand how forgiving someone doesn’t always have to be about the other person. It only hurts us to hold onto grudges, and the grudges of those who don’t seek forgiveness are often the worst. And I thought it was high time that I ease myself from the pain and harness the power of forgiveness.

Even though that person wasn’t sorry and hasn’t yet realised how grave her damages have been to me and how she threw me under emotionally disturbing circumstances, I was still ready to bury the hatchet. For the sole reason that when I go to bed at night, I carry a heart that is as light as a feather!